Stream-of-consciousness post

In one fells swoop all my secrets are out. And I am bereft of anything else to confide in. I have no crutch, so to speak, to depend on for traffic. Now it's my personality and me alone.

It's not that I am bad company. In fact I am great company. I smile in all the right places, I listen with great concentration, I ask all the right questions and I never try to beat your story with my own. Even though the cake you baked the other day is not half as exciting as my roleplay night but I will still ask you if you aged the eggs and if you used extract or essence for flavouring.

That's the thing I never understand about people. Why is your life exciting to me? Don't get me wrong. People like me get by because you have a huge voyeuristic streak and want to know every last detail of my life if it is presented to you, well, presentably. But that's when it's written down.

When you are talking I find it incredibly rude and insensitive to keep talking about yourself for more than 15 minutes. Ok so your child is doing drugs or you aren't getting any at home but tell me that much, add a little footage if you want and then move on. Tell me about some nice clothes you bought or better yet, show me so I can decide for myself.

Do anything but go on and on about something that only you can sort out. I honestly cannot help you if you are not getting the girl of your dreams (you didn't ask me when I was single and now it's too late. Hmph) or your husband's cheating on you. Short of putting an ad in The Hindu or telling your husband he's a worm for cheating on you without permission, there's very little I can do.

Cheating without permission? What does that mean, you ask? Well, see, I am not the possessive kind. Well, not to the extent of being possessive about my partner at least. I am possessive about my car, some clothes, my books and my talents. I don't like anyone else having them or doing it better than I do. But about my man? No. I love him immensely. And he me. I can safely say he is the best thing that's happened to me and I've had some pretty nice things happen. But if he were to sleep with another woman? I'd be perfectly ok. As long as he told me this was happening. I need to know that there's another woman on the scene. I don't ask for gory details. Because then maybe I'd get possessive but I'd like to know it's happening.

Because, you see, if he wants to sleep with someone, then he's already thought about it in his mind. Which means he has already cheated in his mind. As long as I know, he'll never get as deeply involved with anyone else as with me, he can do what he pleases.

Only one fallout: How can you get a girl into bed without first giving her some of your heart?